Come Again Never

Dear Neighbor,
I wish you hadn?t painted such a poignant picture of these two little girls longing for someone in their lives who has a motherly gentleness and regard. You have no obligation to them beyond being pleasant in a distant, neighborly way. But I hope you will be moved to do more. It?s commonplace to hear stories of successful people who came from difficult childhoods and credit a teacher, a neighbor, a volunteer, with making them feel special, encouraged, heard. Perhaps you can set up a time for the girls to help you with certain chores?they could join you in weeding and watering the garden, walking the dog, cooking. That way you wouldn?t feel they?re a drain on your time, and conversation would flow while you were doing your tasks and they were learning from you. If you make your get-togethers regular and contained, say, every Thursday afternoon for an hour or so, then it would be much easier to set limits at other times. (?Girls, I have work, so I can?t talk to you now. But I look forward to spending time with you in two days.?) You would have to run this idea by their father, but please don?t imply they are imposing on your or becoming pests?that would likely result in a serious reprimand. You can also tell the girls they are welcome on your porch if they swing gently, but you can?t come out all the time because you are busy. If you do see them consistently, then down the road you would be in a position to suggest to the father that Big Brothers Big Sisters, for example, might be a good organization for the girls. It?s possible, if you step up, that you will find you?re getting as much out of this friendship as they are.

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